What I Want

I want you here.
I want you gone.
Please stay close,
but not for long.
I thought I knew
what it was I wished.
I’ve been so wrong—
don’t know how I missed
the mark of wants
and needs I have.
I don’t know anymore.
I don’t know what I want.
Don’t know what I feel.
I can’t even tell
if these feelings are real.
Did I build them up
inside my head?
Did dream take over
to change which path I tred?
Or are they true?
If so,
what should I do?
Do I take the leap
into the great unknown?
Or do I protect myself
from what the world has thrown?
You leave me waxing
lyrical rhyme
until inner turmoil
has poured out from mind.
I can’t look at you
without being confused,
then I pray
I’m not being used.
I’m not quite myself.
Haven’t been for a while.
Am I grown adult?
Or confused, lost child?
You keep changing me,
I’m not sure it’s for the best.
I don’t think my heart
can endure the test.
Please stay near,
but don’t stay long
‘cause when you’re here
I might just hold on.

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